image1

Truly Empowered?

Tara Campbell | February 5, 2019

A truly empowered woman wouldn't feel she had to destroy a person growing inside her. 


You may think, "What do you know about anything, mother of 7?!" The answer is, sadly, too much. I know too much on this topic and I know that this is not an empowered decision. It's a feeling of hopelessness. Abortions do not free a woman from her difficult circumstances. If anything, it enables her to stay in them, now with the knowledge that she had life in her and it is there no longer because she had it ended. 


Let's say she's in college, broke, in a toxic relationship, and doesn't want the stigma of single motherhood. Plenty to check off those lists they hand you in the office, right? That girl aborts and nothing else changes in her life. In fact, she's now feeling lower and doesn't want to admit why, so she puts up with even worse things. 


Let's take that same girl and have her keep the baby, have to work and find childcare to make it through college as a single mom. She makes awesome grades and becomes a news reporter. It takes her awhile, but she ditches the toxic relationship business and then after meeting a great guy who actually loves her and her child decides the career doesn't hold a candle to being a full-time mom and proceeds to have several miscarriages and tons of babies. What if I told you they're both the same girl? Me. 


Don't lie to yourselves or others about empowerment. The ones of us who traded a life for a degree, for a career, or to avoid a stigma can tell you that is not empowering. The ones of us who carried a baby, gave birth to the baby, worked, went to college, received a degree, got the career gig, ditched the toxic relationship, and all for the good of that child can tell you...it was truly empowering and created character we didn't know possible in ourselves. 


Those of us who made both decisions are just forever scarred, wondering about the other baby(ies). Those who gave their babies up for adoption, did a beautiful selfless act for their child.The flip side is selfish, but it's covered up with this idea that it's just something that should be done if you're not "ready." We all know no parent is ready. I have seen my babies' hearts flickering away within days of a positive pregnancy test...Marshal's was visible around week 5 or 6 during my 1st appointment. I've seen my babies yawn and smile in the womb. I've felt them giggle. Each one has been different from inside my womb. 

 

I mourn the babies I have never seen. I am sad for the girl who thought she had no choice, but to abort. You are valuable. Your baby is valuable. Pregnancy isn't easy, especially if your circumstances are tough, but that doesn't make you or your baby less valuable. You and your baby are not an inconvenience. And, your circumstances can and will change. I wish I'd known of all the organizations willing to help. To those of you who have gone through with an abortion, there are people and organizations focused on healing that deep hurt and guilt. My healing had to come through Jesus. 


This is such a tough and divisive topic. I doubt I was eloquent, but I hope that in sharing my heart on it that I helped take this from a political issue to a personal account and conviction. I'd like to go a step beyond and say that as I look at women today...giving oneself to guys left and right in a relationship/not in a relationship...doesn't seem nearly as empowering as a lady who decides to wait for marriage. How beautiful if we all valued ourselves beyond the sexual. Then, maybe abortion clinics would be out of business, marriages would be stronger and longer, and more families would be whole. 


Just maybe.